Posts Tagged 'appliances connection blog'

AppliancesConnection.com presents “Sweet, Sweet Justice.”

You’ve had enough. You’ve played their game.

We’ve all endured the tyranny of the hotel minibar, and it has gone too long. The overpriced bags of mixed nuts. The heinously expensive soft drinks. The gold-plated thing of candy beans. All of it unmarked. All of it tempting. And you, me, everyone, caught in the trap: we want a beverage, but we don’t want to go anywhere. It’s all right there — so we eat and drink our fill, only to be slapped with the charges when we check out.

Thirty-dollar candy beans, people. That’s how they get you.

But no more. Now, we need no longer submit. Now, we have a minibar of our own: the Danby DBC120BLS Beverage Center. It’s the hotel minibar, but free*, at home, and stocked with the things you love. Because you stocked it.

You’ve got so many possibilites.

You can keep it next to your couch when you watch baseball, full of brewskis for all your friends. You can keep it full of chilled trail mix, if that’s a thing you happen to enjoy. But you know what I suggest? Take it with you when you go on vacation, sit it right next to the hotel’s own, and use it instead. Fill its three black-wire shelves with full-size versions of every mini-thing they stick in there, taking full advantage of its 120-can capacity and 43F to 57F temperature range with the built-in mechanical thermostat, and enjoy your vacation. You don’t need to live in fear of the bill, buddy, because you came prepared.

That sound there? That low hum? Sure, it’s the sound of the motor keeping your drinks nice and cool. But it’s also the sound of sweet, sweet justice. Of minibar restockers with nowhere to put their wares. Of  maids wondering at the indentations in the carpet. Of hotel managers sobbing as they pace the hallways, wondering how their stranglehold on late-night snack satisfaction has at long last been crushed.

Put a hanger on the door: “Do not tread on me.” Also, you do, in fact, want turndown service.

Summer vacation just got a lot more palatable.

Stick it to those hotel chains at AppliancesConnection.com.

*The stuff you put in it is free. You still have to buy the beverage center.

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AppliancesConnection.com presents “A Grill for the Fallen”

Ah, spring. The air is crisp. The birds are a-singin’. The clouds, white full, amble across the brightest cerulean blue sky you’ve ever seen. And Commander Bill “Space Ace” MacTaggart  is relaxing for the first time in what feels like years, flipping burgers on his Weber natural gas grill.

Was it really just a few weeks ago that he finally triumphed over Agaz-Umatah in that seemingly endless battle at Omega Rex? Had it been less than a month since he piloted  the California into the gaping maw of the Death Caw? He’d worked for so long, an entire lifetime it seemed, to finally rid the galaxy of its most profound existential threat, but now the work was over. Now, he could kick back, enjoy the most horrifyingly opulent government pension ever issued, and worry about nothing more pressing than making sure the burgers cooked evenly on both sides.

Oh, and they’d be cooking evenly. The Weber Genesis-series grill’s Flavorizer bars and stainless steel cooking grates would see to that. Those sear marks meant quality, he thought to himself. What a difference from the blaster sears that pocked the walls of his ship after that last firefight. Then, they signified only death, but here — a celebration of life. Of spring.

His whole surviving crew was with him, ready to eat the bounty about to come forth from its porcelain-enameled lid and expansive warming rack. Everything would be just right, he knew; he had been monitoring the cooking temperature on the lid-mounted thermometer. Nothing would go wrong. Nothing could go wrong. His wife by his side, his kids playing, his crew toasting the fallen — everything was as perfect as it could be.

The time for mourning was over. The time for family, fun, burgers, and 38,500 BTUs of grilling power was here.

Commander MacTaggart smiled. Thanks to this grill, it was a perfect day.

Star commander or no, you too can grill to the memory of your comrades at AppliancesConnection.com

AppliancesConnection.com presents “Securing Your Home Against Bloody Mary”

Ok, so the first and best thing about the Nova Stealth Round Console Mirror is that it provides your home with an unparalleled level of security. How can it do that, you might ask? After all, it’s just a trick infinity mirror, isn’t? It gives you the illusion of an infinite tunnel of light, but there’s nothing terribly special about it when it comes to the safety of your home and family, is there?

That’s where you’re wrong. Because the Nova Stealth Round Console Mirror, with it’s unique and eye-catching construction, gives you the most important protection of them all: no more need you fear your children will be taken into the realm of the dead by Bloody Mary or the Bell Witch.

We all played those games as children. We’d go into the bathroom, or some other room in the house with a mirror, and we’d flip the lights off and on while chanting “Bloody Mary” or “I believe in the Bell Witch” until she would presumably appear in the mirror and drag you off. You’d be gone forever, left to torment in the spirit world. I don’t know about you, but I always chickened out at the last second. Everyone I know did. But what if your children don’t? You need to keep their safety in mind.

The Nova Stealth Round Console Mirror (and its cousins) provide you the valuable service of not reflecting your face; instead, you get an endless tunnel of light. Without a face in which to manifest, the Bell Witch or Bloody Mary simply cannot appear, and your children and your home will be secured against their vendettas or machinations or other wicked spells and whatnot.

And instead of the Bell Witch, you get to contemplate an eternal, peaceful void. If anything, it’s a pathway to a much happier land than wherever it is Bloody Mary resides. And since it’s just an illusion anyway, there’s not a chance that either of these ghosts could use it as a pathway into your home. No, they need faces, and this mirror does not provide them.

And it’s very stylish, too. It’s a Jon Gilmore design from NOVA Lamps, a leading manufacturer of modern household accents. It’s battery-powered, so there’s no unsightly cord coming off of it, and it’s made of the finest brushed aluminum. So it both looks great and protects your home from folklore ghosts.

I make no guarantees about boogeymen, phantom hitchhikers, escaped mental patients with a single metal hook for a hand, the Jersey Devil, or Spring-Heel Jack.

Protect yourself and your children from mirror-related ghosts at AppliancesConnection.com!

AppliancesConnection.com presents “Outbreak: The Adirondacks”

Now this is luxury. Basking in the sun in the middle of the scenic Adirondacks, enjoying the crisp air of the early spring. The leaves are bright and green and seem to stretch on into forever, as if this wood was the whole world itself. Up here, taking in the expanse of Upstate New York, it’s easy to believe that we’re the only people in the world, and that there’s no massive zombie horde almost certainly chasing us down, and perhaps even now lurking in this sylvan wonderland, stalking between the trees in dread pursuit of our flesh and blood, that they may feast.

So just kick back, relax, and take a seat on any one of these beautiful Adirondack chairs.

I’m a pretty big fan of this one, the Cedar Delite Western Red Cedar Small Adirondack Chair with Exterior Stain. It’s made with 100% beautiful Canadian Western Red Cedar in that classic Adirondack style that just screams “weekend at the Finger Lakes with FDR in a world totally not swarming with the undead.” I mean, yeah, FDR had to fight a war, but that’s gotta be less stressful than the collapse of all human civilization under the weight of a zombie plague. So let’s just pretend that never happened for a few days and relax. We’ve got a lot of travelling ahead of us coming up.

No, I don’t hear anything.

Nothing is more relaxing than this elegant, sloping grain. We can lay out and forget our horrifying worries, and dream a little dream of swimming and brandy and little tiny hot dogs on sticks. And unlike our deathly pursuers, this wood is extremely resistant to decay, so it’ll be looking beautiful long after this entire continent has been abandoned to the walking dead.

Stop panicking. Nothing’s out there, probably, and even if there is, there’s nothing we can do about it, so let’s just kick our legs up on this Rectangle Western Red Cedar Coffee Table, set your drink down on the Red Cedar Atlantic 17″ Round Table, close our eyes, and drift off. If the hordes burst in tonight, I want them to see how utterly unconcerned we were, and how comfortable and refined, before we start breaking it apart to use as weaponry.

Zombies or no, AppliancesConnection.com has all the Adirondack chairs you could ask for.


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