AppliancesConnection.com presents “Securing Your Home Against Bloody Mary”

Ok, so the first and best thing about the Nova Stealth Round Console Mirror is that it provides your home with an unparalleled level of security. How can it do that, you might ask? After all, it’s just a trick infinity mirror, isn’t? It gives you the illusion of an infinite tunnel of light, but there’s nothing terribly special about it when it comes to the safety of your home and family, is there?

That’s where you’re wrong. Because the Nova Stealth Round Console Mirror, with it’s unique and eye-catching construction, gives you the most important protection of them all: no more need you fear your children will be taken into the realm of the dead by Bloody Mary or the Bell Witch.

We all played those games as children. We’d go into the bathroom, or some other room in the house with a mirror, and we’d flip the lights off and on while chanting “Bloody Mary” or “I believe in the Bell Witch” until she would presumably appear in the mirror and drag you off. You’d be gone forever, left to torment in the spirit world. I don’t know about you, but I always chickened out at the last second. Everyone I know did. But what if your children don’t? You need to keep their safety in mind.

The Nova Stealth Round Console Mirror (and its cousins) provide you the valuable service of not reflecting your face; instead, you get an endless tunnel of light. Without a face in which to manifest, the Bell Witch or Bloody Mary simply cannot appear, and your children and your home will be secured against their vendettas or machinations or other wicked spells and whatnot.

And instead of the Bell Witch, you get to contemplate an eternal, peaceful void. If anything, it’s a pathway to a much happier land than wherever it is Bloody Mary resides. And since it’s just an illusion anyway, there’s not a chance that either of these ghosts could use it as a pathway into your home. No, they need faces, and this mirror does not provide them.

And it’s very stylish, too. It’s a Jon Gilmore design from NOVA Lamps, a leading manufacturer of modern household accents. It’s battery-powered, so there’s no unsightly cord coming off of it, and it’s made of the finest brushed aluminum. So it both looks great and protects your home from folklore ghosts.

I make no guarantees about boogeymen, phantom hitchhikers, escaped mental patients with a single metal hook for a hand, the Jersey Devil, or Spring-Heel Jack.

Protect yourself and your children from mirror-related ghosts at AppliancesConnection.com!

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AppliancesConnection.com presents “Just a Regular Cowboy”

I do believe I am the rootin’est-tootin’est buckaroo ever to muster cattle in Branford County. I drive them steer up and down the river, mud everywhere and coverin’ everything, stinkin’ to high heaven with that musty smell you only ever get from cattle. I sleep in the ditches and dirt, warmed by the fire, comforted only by the thought that when I get home, I’ll be greeted by the most striking, elegant accent pieces west of the Mississippi.

Now, this may not be la-dee-da New York City, but after weeks on horseback and eatin’ beans from a can, it does me good to remember that my ranch cabin is most elegantly accoutered, and that right next to the bull whips and muddy boots — well, not right next to — I’ve got these absolutely lovely handmade, blown-glass sculptures.

I get covered in filth and loam, and Lord knows that’s how a man’s s’posed to be. Yesirree, I’m a salt-of-the-earth sorta fella, who works with dirty hands and saddle sores. I eat my steak rare, culled from the herd, lookin’ out over the Rio Grande. My hands are calloused, my boots worn, my hat broken-in and blown. That’s why  I keep home full of singing angels, elegant, furiously modern candlesticks, and these spectacular wall sconces. When I walk in from a month-long cattle drive, it’s good to know I’m the only cowboy with enough interior design sense to accent the whole dusty frontier image with beige and caramel glass decor.

No, mounted horns and horseshoes above the door just ain’t for me. If I’m gonna work like a cowboy, well, by Golly I’m gonna live like I’m on Park Avenue. Care for some brie?