How to have a great New Year’s Party

New Year’s is almost here, and what better way to mark the inevitable, constant, drumbeat march of time than with a slammin’ house party where you get completely smashed and stay up all night blasting Led Zeppelin? Absent that, how about a classier affair, subdued and mature, where you drink martinis and discuss current events and someone is in the corner quietly working on the New York Times crossword puzzle? (“6 Down. ‘Operation Ajax PM.’ Starts with M, eight letters…”) Whether you’re at either extreme or somewhere in the middle, a good party with friends is always a fun way to ring in the year. But where do you begin?

The first step is always to figure out what sort of party you want to throw. I, for one, recommend a Punky Brewster theme; the eighties are still fun, right? But whatever your tastes, you’re going to need some supplies: ice, streamers, a giant ball covered in three-thousand Swarovski crysals lit by 32,256 LED lamps totaling 625,033 lumens of lighting power, some red Daisy cups, napkins, that sort of thing. But once you’ve covered the essentials, it’s time to start thinking a little….bigger. Liven up your party with some of the great ideas below.

1) A good solid barCapture

You have to have a place to serve your drinks. Sure, you could just use your kitchen counter like most people do. Heck, you could use your dining room table. But why have steak when you could have filet mignon? That’s why you need a bar.

Listen. This is a place to both serve and store your drinks and look classy while you’re doin’ it. There’s a lock to protect your liquor from prying hands, or the government or whatever. Removable wine storage racks only make it better. And that footrest! Imagine how absolutely killer you will look with one foot propped up on it while you nurse that rum and coke. The answer is very absolutely killer. And it’s a great accent for your home, just sort of generally speaking.

2) Beverage Center0697f0fb07da8ab7c219f53e4edd6469

What, praytell, is a beverage center? Far from being a wine and spirits outlet store (or hey, maybe it’s that, too. I’m not here to judge), a beverage center is a specially designed display freezer made to store beer and other chilled drinks at an icy 24F. This means that your beer will be perfectly chilled every single time, right down at the low end of the thermometer, all the while placed on display for all the world to see. That means you aren’t just chilling your beer — you’re showing it off. Place your epic beer stash right at center stage, where it belongs, the subject of the gathered oohs and aahs of all your friends, relatives, and acquaintances. That’s the way life should be.

3) A Good Patio Heater3c4f4a0441efbfc00f9f1b28fc8c420d

It’s December, and it’s soon going to be January. While 2013 may end abruptly at midnight, winter will still be going strong. And depending on where you live, that might just mean you’ll be a bit reluctant to take the party outside into the bitter, stinging cold. That’s understandable; who wants to break the night’s heat with the night’s chill? But with a patio heater, you won’t have to.

A good patio heater provides a cone of consistent warmth extending out into the darkness and cold, within which you can continue to party hearty all through the night, even after the ball drops. Offering tens of thousands of BTU of heating power, a strong patio heater offers heavy duty protection from the hazards of winter in an attractive package.

4)Margarita Maker!0201053ea4e7b6b87400f2b5e35b6359

Hot parties need cool drinks. And that’s where a gen-u-wine Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker comes into the mix. Take your party to the islands with this, your passport to pleasure and fun. Featuring three independent blending stations, this guy has six automated drink settings, making it fun and easy to both make and consume margaritas, daiquiris, coladas, mudslides, mojitos, and smoothies ’till the sun comes up in 2014. With this, you can drum to 72 ounces of restaurant-quality pitch-perfect tropical goodness to help you ring in the new year the right way — thoroughly sloshed..

5) Lots and lots of Chocolate Fonduefac247f3e70c924529a42038d7460a3c

It’s an idea that’s beautiful in its elegant simplicity: melt chocolate, dip things in the aforementioned chocolate, eat the things you have so dipped. And why not? Chocolate is delicious, and it should be eaten as often as possible, said no doctor ever. But forget the doctors! It’s New Year’s , and that means it’s time for alcohol and sweets. So that’s why we absolutely recommend you check out — and probably buy, if we’re being honest — a real rootin’ tootin’ chocolatiere. Listen to that fancy name. You’ll be partying like the Marquis de Alencon or whoever, You could dip everything in chocolate. Eat chocolate covered peanuts. Dip ice cream. Or pour the melted chocolate into molds for your very own custom holiday candies. Or hey just dunk everything in sight and go to town. It’s your life. I’m not here to tell you what you can and can’t do with a bucket of melted chocolate.

And there you have it. Those are the five things you need to buy to have a great New Year’s party. That’s it. Ipso facto. Just those five things.

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