Top Ten Most Awesome Jobs in the Whole Freaking World

1) Riding Shamu

Bad job: Being Shamu

2) Batman

Every single morning, I stare at myself in the mirror, and ask myself why I’m not out there every night fighting crime. Then I go make myself an egg sandwich.

3) Spaceship Delivery Guy

I suppose this falls under the subheading of “pilot,” but there are people who have been tasked with the task of safely delivering spaceships to other people. I really hope they got a good tip.

4) Guy who Parks Cars at the White House

This job may sound bad, but imagine the things you could whisper into the ears of the most powerful people in the world.

5) Roller Coaster Tester

This also falls under the heading of “potentially incredibly dangerous,” but oh man, the coasters.

6) Luxury Bed Tester

This is a job actual people have.

7) Ice Cream Taster

Sweet merciful God so is this one.

8) Pizza Delivery Guy

This job may sound like it sucks, but you’re wrong about that. The great secret all pizza delivery guys are sworn to keep is that they’re all raking in the millions from generous tippers for a job they only have to do a couple of hours a week. These are truly the titans of our age.

9) Waterslide Tester

“Sigh. Another day testing waterslides for maximum funnivation.”

10) Being In Aziz Ansari’s Entourage

Wait. This sounds awful.

 

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